Today I met up with one of my mentees who is Asian and works in an American MNC like me, and she had great news to share.
When we had our first session, she told me she wanted to improve her communication skills. She'd been a bit of a loner at work because she didn't feel confident in English, since it's her second language. This is a challenge for her because she works in an English speaking environment but does not need to use the language outside of work.
Using coaching techniques, we explored why this was happening and what she could adjust to get closer to where she wanted to be. And since this was a mentoring session, I also shared a few things I've learned that might help — one of them being to just approach people naturally. I gave her an example: asking someone if they'd eaten, the way a typical Asian would.
"After I decided that I will try to talk to at least one colleague, I started rehearsing in my mind what I would say and I practiced like you asked me to... to ask if they had breakfast. I worked out in my mind a plan.. that if they said yes, I would follow up with a question about what they ate..."
She arrived in office, built up her courage and finally asked her colleague if he'd had breakfast.
He said "No…"
And just like that, her whole plan fell apart. She had no idea what to say next.
While she was doing breathing exercises to calm herself down and figure out her next move, her colleague turned to her and said, "Actually, I'm just about to grab a coffee — want to join me?"
One thing led to another, and the whole team ended up getting coffee together... "And it is the very first time that my whole team had coffee together in the morning and we had such a great time we took a group photo," she added with a twinkle in her eye.
The experience gave her more courage and she shared openly with them how she wanted to improve her communication and how this started out as an exercise as a result of our mentorship program. Her colleagues were supportive and chipped in with more ways she could work on that and told her, "You should have told us earlier..."
My takeaway from this-- Never underestimate the small steps you built your courage to take — even the ones that feel like they failed.
My mentee didn't get the conversation she rehearsed. She got something better: a whole team having coffee together for the first time, because she was brave enough to go first.
That's the part people forget — your small step doesn't just affect you. There's often a whole team, a whole room, all a whole group of people waiting on the other side of it for you to shine and for you to take the lead. You just can't see them yet.
So here's my question for you — what's one small, "scary" step you've been putting off? Maybe it's smaller and easier than you think.
Drop it in the comments. I'd love to hear it.
need help figuring out the small step looks like?
If you're stuck figuring out what that step even looks like, that's exactly what I help people with. Book a session with me, and let's find your version of "asking about breakfast".
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