Half A Glass Of Sake And How It Taught Me A Lesson About The Importance of Perception

Last week, my friend and I went for a meal and ordered a glass of sake to share. We asked the server for half a glass each.

The cheeky crew at Omunomu Sake Bar took us very literally — and gave us a this glass! 

We laughed about it for a good five minutes. The glass is so unique. Depending on the angle you are looking from, it can look like a full glass or half a glass and this reminded me literally of how our perception determines the world we saw. 

The Workshop That Rewired How I Tell My Story

Years ago, I attended a workshop that used a simple but brutal exercise that was meant to teach accountability and help us learn we had a choice in how we wanted to remember or tell our life story.

You were grouped into groups and and first, you told your group your life story — as a sob story. All the pain, all the unfairness, laid out exactly as it felt when it happened.

After everyone has done their sob story. We were now given a second set of instructions. You now had to tell the exact same story again. Except this time, as a comedy.

Nothing about the facts changed. Only the lens did.

Suddenly, my messiest relationship heartbreaks weren't tragedies — they were absurd, almost slapstick movie plots and insightful relationship lessons about the many stages of relationships. And the scariest chapter of my life — being chased by loan sharks because of my dad's gambling debt — started sounding like material for a stand-up set.

When I Was 15, My Dad Ran

When I was 15, my dad racked up a massive gambling debt. He had no job and no way to pay back what he owed — so he ran to another country and left my mum to face it all, with my sister and me still at home.

As a sob story, this was indeed a sad situation for a young girl. We had barely enough to eat and we couldn't afford to buy food for my dad's arowana fish in the house and had to catch cockroaches for it. My mum had to start going out to work and suddenly, me and my sister became latch key kids. At 15, I was also painfully aware of how compared to my friends, I had very little at home. The loansharks will come ask for money every now and then and we had recieved many threats and calls over the phone. When I was walking on the streets, I always felt really afraid that I night be killed or injured because of the debt we owed. (Yes, I know, too many tv shows.. lol)

But as a comedy, that was also a completely absurd year where I got a front-row seat to the different "professionals" in the loanshark business. Yes, professionals. Because apparently, even debt collection has its own cast of characters.

1) The Traditional Loanshark
This one didn't do subtlety. He'd call on the first day of Chinese New Year — the actual first ring you pick up — and go straight into "KNNCCB, you owe money better pay money!" No pleasantries. No small talk. Just straight to the vulgarities, like a greeting card from hell. I was the unlucky one to pick up the call and never could forget it.

2) The Demure Salesperson
Then there was the guy who showed up in a shirt, tie, and business pants, hair neatly combed and slicked with blue cream, wearing black glasses — like he'd walked straight out of a 1990s insurance ad. He knocked politely and gave an actual sales pitch: "Excuse me, hello, I am here actually about the debt XXX owed. I am just wondering if you will be able to pay up on his behalf, as we cannot contact him."

When my mum said she had no money, he pivoted into what can only be described as a soft close: "Oh, that is perfectly understandable now that your husband is not around. But would you be able to pay a minimum sum of $50 a month? That would help me very much, so I can answer to my boss..."

My mum, completely deadpan, replied: "I only have my two daughters and my life. If you want, you can take that."

And this "salesman" — visibly rattled — backpedaled instantly: "Oh please, don't say that. Why don't I give you some time to sort things out, and I'll come back later... I'm so sorry to trouble you today."

A debt collector, apologizing to us. I still can't get over it.

3) The Actor
This one is my favourite of the entire cast. A guy who looked rough around the edges, but spoke sincerely — almost gently — asking if my mum could pay a small amount every month. She said no.

Right on cue, his phone rang. He picked it up and, in front of us, launched into an entirely different personality: "Ah yes, boss! Yes, I am chasing them now... don't worry, leave it to me..." — while banging loudly on our door a few times for effect — "You better listen to me... you better pay up... or else, we will definitely make you sorry!!" Then, sweet as pie again: "Ok boss, ok boss, bye bye..."

And almost immediately, he switched right back into his kindly persona: "Sorry ah, sorry ah, talking to my boss and I have to pretend that I am doing my job. I am just a runner... and I also understand your difficulties..."

I genuinely didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The switch was so swift, so smooth, so seamless — one moment he was threatening us, the next he was practically apologizing for the performance. This man deserved an Oscar. A Golden Horse award, minimum.

 

Same Facts, Completely Different Story

Told one way, this is a story about abandonment, fear, and a life interrupted by other people's bad decisions. Told another way, it's a story about the most oddly theatrical cast of characters I've ever met — a workplace comedy that happened to be set at my front door. I almost feel thankful to my dad for this really unique experience.

Both versions are true. I just get to choose which one I carry.

And to a certain extend, this is what receiving coaching is about — not pretending the hard things didn't happen, but learning how to hold them in a way that doesn't keep you stuck. The facts of your past don't change. But the story you tell yourself about them? That's entirely up for rewrite.

So here's my question for you: how are you currently telling the story of your life — and is it time to tell it differently?

ready to rewrite your life story?

If this resonated with you, I'd love to help you find your own reframe. I work with people one-on-one to help them look at their toughest chapters and find the version of the story that moves them forward instead of keeping them stuck.  Let's find your comedy in the chaos.

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